Well, today is the first day of fasting or 'pose' and now is 11.46 a.m. and I am already hungry. My stomach is rumbling, churning, making gong-like-sound-and-doing-the-crazy-dance and I am this close of forgetting that today I am fasting and nearly opened the fridge in search of food.
Haih...
I don't know that I will be tempted like this. First day is hard...
What I looked like now
Dear Allah...Guide my through the day without vain and temptation. Amin...
Aight, about this time's post. It's a story.
I love DBSK and I decided to write something about them. It's nothing serious. No smut or anything (eheh..) just something about when they won the awards at the Golden Disk. It really is a prestigious ceremony and they did win the most outstanding award of the night. Although I'm taking one of the member's P.O.V as a narrator, I know it's no where near perfect. I mean how can one knows what others' are thinking? Especially since I've never even spoken to him (I wish!). But I hope I was able to capture just a tiny piece of the precious moment. p/s: I did watch the video of this moment, by the way.
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“Dong Bang Shin Ki!”
Your prayer is answered. You burrow your face in your own clenched hands; lost in the overwhelming feeling of victory. The next thing that you notice is Jaejoong’s hand on your back. In a briefest second, you catch his eyes and he has this sort of smile in it which is exactly the same smile he wore for you and the members when you felt like everything else was crashing down and everything else turned against you. He has that ability in him that has always been able to lift you.
Then you turn to those around.
Numerous hands try to reach you; to hug, to hold, to shake, to pat. You don’t keep track. You could no longer distinguish whose voice is congratulating, wishing you the best, adoring you. Your fellow artists, composers, staffs, and most importantly, your beloved Cassiopeias; screaming and shouting you and your members’ name from afar. You could even swear that you hear half of them cried. Happy tears, you sincerely hope so and you find yourself wishing them every happiness in the world and if there is any way, any way at all that you could give every single one of them a bear hug you always gave your members. If it could somehow repay everything that they have done for Dong Bang Shin Ki, you would do it. But you also know that it would be impossible so you find yourself taking a vow to always do your best in everything you attempt in. Singing. Dancing. All for your Cassiopeias.
The walk to the stage seems so many miles away.
The legs that you have been standing on, dancing on almost all your life feel weak all of a sudden. Seems like even your lungs were out of breath now. Forcing more air into them, you try to control your breathing. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. The medal around your neck and trophy in Changmin’s hold, the speech that you are trying to deliver seems incoherent. There are so many people that you wanted thank and express your appreciation to but you are only given 3 minutes to do so. You thought that it was so unfair! You don’t think even a day would be enough if you were to say the names of these people. Numerous faces come to your mind and 5 years of hard work, fatigue, tears, joy; you remember during when you had to start over and the hardships of those days and all of it are finally repaid during this one night. Of course, you would wish for greater achievement in the future, but for now, this is enough. The most prestigious award in Korea goes to you. 1 year and 7 months of insecurities vanishes upon this one night and that is all that matters.
But you couldn’t hold it anymore.
YOOCHUN
You gritted your teeth and then Yoochun stand in your place to continue from where you have left. He speaks with confidence and sureness, although there is a hint of fresh tears in his eyes but he no longer is the one you always have to console like the situation in a few years back. Your heart swells with pride.
CHANGMIN
You take a step back and look to your right. The first thing you see was Changmin looking at Jaejoong who is standing on his right as if to make sure if the oldest is fine. The magnae notices you looking and give a curt nod. You feel like smiling when you think about how concern he is towards his hyungs including you. Really, if you are to have a brother, it is someone like Changmin that you want to be beside you.
JAEJOONG
You turned to Jaejoong; just beside the magnae and he immediately felt your stare. His lips stretch the same smile he gives to you earlier and just like before, you feel assured. “Everything is all right,” say his eyes. You give him a small smile and nod.
JUNSU
Turning to the one member at the farthest right, the feeling you had when you heard the fans cried for you was back. You just want to give him an embrace, pat his back and tell him that you have his back. But watching his solemn face, you know you needn’t have to. Junsu is strong in his own way; you registered that fact long ago.
Suddenly the feeling of pride overwhelms you. These are the members that have gone through thick and thin with you. No matter how thorny the paths are they have been on in just like you. No matter how down you are, they have their feelings of down as well. They have cried, they have laughed, and everything was done with you. The five of you. Jaejoong once said that Dong Bang Shin Ki is only known when there are the five of you and he was absolutely right. Even when there is a member missing, it feels incomplete.
So you end your resumed speech, bow respectively to the audiences and grab each and every one of your members and HUG them. Eyes closed, foreheads touching, hands tangled together, your tears are drown in their smiles.
“We did it,”
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Well, that's it. I really feel strongly about writing this. Especially these days when they are struggling with their case with SME. They really are talented and I'm not being a bias. The boys deserve much better.
