Deafening.
Exactly that, it was deafening. The first time when it happened. Sounds of bus tires screeching, engine rolling of the bus that you were about to board; Transnational Express, puffy smoke from the bus itself or from the passersby; dying themselves out with a heave or two of Dunhill. Probably even Pallmall and Winston. The air was stiffly hot, what with the heat from the busses or from the fact that you were standing on the ground floor of a bus station. Stuck there and no other ways to escape since you have to get on the bus by 8.30 or you’ll have to face dad soon. The atmosphere was really making you dizzy by the second. Wrinkling your nose, and that was when you turn to him.
Him.
You stared at him, admittedly, greedily, drinking the sight that you missed the most 24/7 since you both first declared. Seriously. You missed him day and night and the fact that both of you live 223 km apart didn’t help at all. One a city savvy and the other a plain country being through and through. Not exactly a good match, now that you think about it, but during that time, it simply didn’t matter. Everything else didn’t matter. The actuality that you lied to your parents just to see him didn’t matter. The fact that you nearly caused your friend difficulties with your parents since you asked her to tell them dishonesty didn’t matter because you just had to see him. Problems that will arise, you’ll deal with it only when it comes under your nose, and since that is your motto anyway. Whatever happens will happen and you just have to deal with it one by one. A good motto, you always thought, but could only be applied with certain standards, it seems.
He was watching elsewhere when you were staring and you always thought how lucky you are to have him. Your first love. Since you were eleven. But it wasn’t long for you two to fully realize your feeling towards each other during that time because you moved to other state. And fate pulls its thread one day and after 8 years of broken hope and silence, he contacted you again.
You were friends. Good friends who messaged each other every day. YM-ing, MMS-ing, and phone calls were also standard acts of you two. It was fun and you HAD a lot of fun. He was funny whilst he could also be serious at the same time. He was very charming and before you knew it, he already charmed your heart for the second time in 8 years of your life. So how could you refuse when he asked for your heart the day the first time both of you met after such a long time? First look at him and you went all weak-knee. There was nothing else to do or say, even, except for the simple ‘Yes’; although you asked him to give you 2 days to think it over (when honestly, you could just say yes on the spot, really. There was nothing to think over; as head over heels fallen as you).
So there you go. Both of you had gone through a complete circle. Today was only your second date with him after 3 months of being together. You understood him, you really did. Both of you were at the tertiary level education. Assignments, projects and tutorials were a must thus explained of why you could never see each other at a weekly or even monthly basis. And here you were with him.
Today was fun and romantic. He took you to the waterfalls. Both of you took a bath in the river. He also cooked a barbeque for you. And that was it. Time flees so fast and before you know it, it was time to say goodbye. The bus’s door bust opened and you quickly took your ticket out to go on board.
He turned to you. And the smoldering look that he gave suggested that he was as reluctant to say goodbye as you were.
“I’m gonna miss you,” he said. And you, being the frail being that you are, felt like your legs had been turned into marshmallow.
“I’ll miss you too,” you managed to let out in between frantic heartbeats and incoherent breathings. He took your right hand and you knew that he would do it even before he did it.
He kissed your hand.
You smiled even when your heart felt like it was about to burst. Tears were already a pool in your eyes and you tried your best not to let them fall. You refused to let go of his hand; the one that holding yours and you started to think of any way, any way at all that you could simply postpone your bus ride to tomorrow. You really wanted to spend your time with him. You really, really did.
You looked down to hide your eyes and your left hand was clenching your bag until it felt like it had turned white already.
And then, suddenly…
You were in his arms.
You didn’t even have time to blink. One minute you were looking down and the next second you were overlooking from the right plane of his wide shoulder.
3 seconds, and that was all it took.
And through those 3 seconds, various images flashed through your eyes. You and him when you were both eleven, how it felt like when you moved away, how it felt like these 8 years of nothingness, him when you both met again after 8 years, him asking for your heart. And you could feel that, during that moment, even if he asked you to marry him at that very time and minute, you would even say yes. You could see the whole future ahead of you with him and him only. Nobody else 's could ever interfere, for it was just the both of you. Forever.
How very wrong you were.
Thoughts:
Do you think it's possible to hate someone of whom you feel that you really can't live without? That is exactly how I feel about someone. I truly hate ... sometimes, but at times, I realize that without ... , I really won't have the courage to carry on. Especially at this stage of my life.
That that, folks!
xD
